The New Adventures of Christian and Edge (featuring Kurt Angle)

by **Christian** 17.04.10 11:35

The scene fades in and it's Edge and Christian walking backstage. They stop by a door.Christian walks over to a vending machine in the back round while Edge turns the knob to the door. It doesn't open so he begins to knock on it.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Kurt, you in there?

Edge keeps knocking while in the background Christian pulls out a dollar and puts it into the machine. The machine spits back out the dollar, Christian puts it in again. The machine sends it back out. Christian tries again but it spits the dollar back out again. Christian begins to pound against the machine and shakes it around a little. Edge turns towards him.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
It's only a soda..

Christian walks over and stands next to Edge.

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Yeah but Sodas rule!

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
You're right, they do rule

They high five. Edge continues to knock on the door while Christian walks back to the vending machine. Christian begins to shake the machine some more. Edge turns towards Christian.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Could you do it without letting everybody else know!

Edge keeps knocking on the door calling for Kurt. Christian walks out of view. Suddenly a chair crashes into the vending machine glass window and breaks it. Christian walks back towards the vending machine and reaches inside.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
I said without letting everybody else know!

Christian walks back towards Edge by the door with a soda in his hands.

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
I wanted a soda...

Edge just looks at Christian, while Christian looks back confused.

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
What?

Edge just keeps looking at him.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
You went through all that..and you only grabbed one.

Edge just looks at Christian while he looks back. Christian pops the lid and begins to drink the soda. Edge motions his brother to come and help him as Christian steps up.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Kurt, I know you're in there! Either you open this door or... Or else!

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Or else what?

Edge shrugs his shoulders...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Wait I have an idea!

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
What's that?

Edge steps back...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
I saw this on that Kojak thing...

Edge runs and kicks the door open...

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
That was awesome...

They enter to see Kurt Angle coming out of the shower, with a white bathing cap with flowers and a towel around his waist, he covers himself...

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
Wha..!? What the fuck?!

Edge leans towards Christian.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Is he wearing a bathing cap with a flower on it?

They look at each other then look back at Kurt. Christian turns towards Edge.

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
It's true, it's true!

Kurt looks at them both with a awkward look.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
Don't judge me!

Christian and Edge look at each other and both shrug their shoulders. Kurt walks back into the bathroom for a moment and comes out with some pants on with the towel around his shoulder. Kurt looks behind the two at the broken door.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
You know what, forget that, I'll get that fixed.

Christian opens the pop and it fizzes and spills on the floor. Edge just nods his head. Kurt looks down at the floor not surprised.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
Ugh......What the hell do you guys want? What's so damn important that you had to kick down my door?

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Well me and Edge are wondering. Last week..in your lumberjack match..

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
Don't even remind me of that match!

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Well..me and Edge tried to help you out with that Big Red Dorkchop because we thought you could use the help of the...

Edge and Christian turn towards each other while still talking to Kurt.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
..most awesome...

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
...most photogenic...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
...most charismatic...

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
..and the most fightingest tag team...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
..of all time!

Kurt just stands there looking at them.

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Kurt..we are asking you if you would like to align once again with the team that oh so totally rules!

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Edge and Christian! To once again form the stable that totally rules. The E!

Edge points to himself.

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
To the C!

Christian points to himself.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
To the K!

They both point to Kurt.

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
We are talking about non other then the most awesome three man stable of all time that totally rules..

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Team ECK!

Edge and Christian high five each other. Edge steps closer to Kurt and tries to reason with him...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
See here Kurt, I know me and you, we've had our differences before, I shaved your head and all that... But remember those good ol'times? Of course you do, and what I'm trying to get to here, is that we need to go back to those good ol'times and go back to kicking ass!

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Yeah!

Edge and Christian high five again and laugh...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
So what do you say?

Captain Charisma::..::CHRISTIAN::..::Instant Classic
Do you want to totally reek of awesomeness like me and Edge?

King Edge the Awesome::..::EDGE::..::The Ultimate Opportunist
Or do you want to stay the same reekazoid you are, getting your ass handed to you weak in and weak out by the rest of the locker room?

Captain Charisma::..::CHRISTIAN::..::Instant Classic
Do you want to align with the team that totally rules?

Edge and Christian high five.

King Edge the Awesome::..::EDGE::..::The Ultimate Opportunist
Or do you want to be a big sack of failure with nothing but that brutal hair cut of yours!

Captain Charisma::..::CHRISTIAN::..::Instant Classic
Brutal! B! R! UTAL!

King Edge the Awesome::..::EDGE::..::The Ultimate
Opportunist
What's it gonna be Kurt?

Kurt rubs his neck a little bit.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
Yeah you guys helped me out huh? I LOST MY DAMN TITLE!!!!! i didn't even have the title for five minutes and lost the thing to a freak who has trouble talking out his gay mask.

Edge and Christian seem to try to explain something.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
I am the first ever World Champion and couldn't even celebrate because you guys had to try and help which distracted me when I clearly had Kane in my grasps. And you have the nerve to ask me to rejoin you guys. i didn't see you guys helping me i saw you guys getting double choke slammed to the mat.

Kurt Angle grabs a bottle of water from a nearby table and takes a small sip before finishing up.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
So, thanks but no thanks because from the way I see it, you have done more harm than you did good and I'm still without MY title.

Kurt Angle brushes by them slightly.

The Olympic Gold Medalist ::..:: KURT ANGLE ::..:: The Wrestling Machine
By the way clean this crap up.

Kurt leaves the scene leaving Edge just looking at Christian's pop can. Edge and Christian look at each other...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Don't worry, we'll get good old Kurt back. But most importantly, what the hell, did you actually have to steal that soda?

Captain Charisma ::..:: CHRISTIAN ::..:: Instant Classic
Well did you actually have to break the door down?

Edge shrugs...

King Edge the Awesome ::..:: EDGE ::..:: The Ultimate Opportunist
Dude, you know what we should do? We should go to the ring and show all these people our newest... Unique! Five Second Pose!

The crowd boos as they high five each other and laugh.

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