Straight Edge Superstar

by **CM Punk** 08.04.10 17:00

The crowd begins to boo loudly as CM Punk's entrance music hits the PA system. He begins walking down to the ring slowly, looking around at his audience with an unimpressed look on his face. He is wearing his ring tights, along with and unbuttoned jacket, exposing his hairy chest, his hair long, as usual. His hands and wrists are taped up as if he was going to be in action, but that much would remain to be seen. He has an "X" written on the back of each of his hands and is rubbing them together quickly. He walks up the stairs to get into the ring where he is handed a microphone by a nearby official. He grabs the mic and begins to walk to the other side of the ring, until his music is turned off.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
A cascade of boos to welcome me. Huh... How original.

The crowd continues to boo as Punk paces across the ring.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
But that's alright because, believe it or not, I was like all of you at one point in my life... Staying out late, hitting the booze...

As Punk is mentioning drinking, he makes a motion with his hand to replicate the motion of drinking. He then pauses for the fans to give off a moderately displeased or angry reaction.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
It's no wonder that your judgment of whats good for you, and whats bad for you is so thrown off, with all of these, negative influences in your life.

There is another pause as CM Punk nods his head, as if to show that he agrees with his previously stated opinion.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
But, don't fret... For your straight edge savior is here! I'm here to break you free of your addiction to, alcohol and your, pain killers and prescription medications!

Punk stops talking for a little while to locate and approach the nearest camera.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
I'd now like to inform those of you at home in advance, that if you didn't have the opportunity to show up here and see me in person, it is OKAY! It is okay... Because as your savior, your leader, your guiding light... My mental health has to be top notch, and I assure you, it is... I can save you... No matter where, you are.

Punk puts his hand into the air, closes his eyes, and bows his head.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
So for those of you at home right now, hearing my message, feel free to put your hand on your television screen and allow my presence and wisdom to run to run through your veins.

Punk stays in his stance for a while, as the fans continue with their soft boos. Punk opens his eyes and looks up, the mic in his hand.

Straight ×CM Punk× Edge
Now for the rest of you, we have the biggest of plans, ones never bef...

Punk is interrupted by ___'s theme music

TBC by anyone

by **Matt Hardy** 08.04.10 17:50

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!! My savior was never a booze drinking pathetic loser...

by **CM Punk** 08.04.10 18:27

OH, but he was!

His college days may not have been as bad as most, or even up to par... but he was drunk once, oh yes...

But he is sorry

by **Mick Foley** 08.04.10 18:29

^^^^Bullshit^^^^^^^^^

by **CM Punk** 08.04.10 18:30

Oh but it's true...

Alright maybe not.

It's quite difficult to sense sarcasm over the web, aint it?

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Straight Edge Superstar

Straight Edge Superstar

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